Picking up the pieces

I have felt completely heartbroken by the unfolding events in Japan. It seems everyday when I wake up the news is worse. Nuclear reactors exploding, the death toll believed to be over 10,000. I even heard on the news last night that they are bumping up the earthquake from 8.9 to 9.0. Watching things like this makes me incredibly sad. Half because I love Japan and I empathise with them, and half because I can't really help them at all. Having been interested in Japan and Japanese music for almost 7 years now, makes me more saddened by this news than the average American. Not to say Americans aren't completely heartbroken over this, because they are, but as some one who has always kept an eye on Japan it hurts a lot more for me.

And the ironic thing is despite all of this I really want to start blogging again.Not for any selfish or malice reasons you might be thinking of. I want to blog because blogging gives me comfort. A few months back when my mom had a stroke blogging helped me feel just a tiny bit better. It gave me a sense of normality amide devistation. But how do you blog about the place that was effected for comfort? That seems like backwards logic to me. And because of that I haven't been blogging. I had this blog give a moment of silence to Japan.

But then I wonder is it even ok to blog. With a devastating earthquake and tsunami obviously it doesn't feel completely right to blog. When a tragedy of this caliber happens trivial things like idols hardly matter. But with that mind set, when is an ok time to blog? I don't want to be seen as that insensitive person that starts blogging about unimportant things, when Japan is still grieving.

I don't know, I feel completely torn. It's just incredible to see what a huge difference a day makes. I remeber the day before the earthquake all I cared about was seeing the full PV for Maji Desu ka Ska. I was getting excited for the Super Moon and St. Patrick's Day. I even wrote an entry about Passpo the day before the earthquake, that I was going to post the next day.

And now it doesn't even seem right to care about these things. And if I care I'm a horrible person. Of course people have to move on eventually, and Japan isn't even my native country. But it stll seems like it's too soon. But I have no idea when it will no longer feel too soon. How do you measure something like that? A week, a month, a year? This whole post makes me seem selfish.